Tormented? Perplexed? Issues have you tossing and turning? The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind. Or wait! Ask Sara…
I’ve been dating a guy for a few months. After a couple of dates, in a martini-induced haze, I blurted out that I loved him and that he was my soulmate. Oops! I spoke too soon. I told him last night that I was mistaken, and that while I liked him, I didn’t think he was my true soul mate. He told me that there’s no such thing as a soulmate and I’m expecting too much. He still wants to date, but I’m not sure. Should I listen to his cynical remarks or is there really a soulmate out there for me?
My dear Seeking,
Cool it! Give this guy time and lots of space. And if you promise never to drink too many martinis again, I’ll let you in on a secret. A soulmate is not someone who can be found. A soulmate is not lost out there, wandering around looking for a mate as if he or she were a mislaid glove. It takes years of nurturing a relationship, of weathering adversity, of achieving small victories, of sharing moments of intense joy. One day you will look into your partners eyes and know that you are soulmates. Meanwhile, humour his cynicism, stick to wine spritzers and keep dating this guy. He has potential.
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Sara Waxman, OOnt, is an award-winning restaurant critic, best-selling cookbook author, food and travel journalist and has eaten her way through much of the free world for four decades, while writing about it in books, newspapers and magazines. She is the Editor in Chief of DINE and Destinations magazine.