Ask Sara: Mending a Strained Relationship

Ask Sara

Tormented? Perplexed? Issues have you tossing and turning? The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind. Or wait! Ask Sara…

After my husband and I separated, my relationship with my 23-year-old daughter became very strange. I know it’s related to my leaving her father. While she and I live in the same city, we never see each other and barely speak. Occasionally I write her letters, but I’m wondering if this is only exacerbating the situation. Any advice?

My dear Distressed,
Your daughter is punishing you for some real or imagined injury and has slammed the door in your face. If you bolt the door, there may never be a reconciliation. Still, the more you try to see her, the more she’ll dig in her heels. Ask nothing. Just keep sending her cards on birthdays and holidays, and sign them with love. One day, hopefully within your lifetime, she’ll want her mom, and you will have left the door ajar.

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